8 Weeks at Fort Lost in the Woods Misery

 I've been in the 'limelight' since I was twelve years old professionally.  But really, I think I came out of the womb entertaining!  As a cheesy purple post-fetus, I sang loudly to my "adoring fans"--I admit, though, I was new to the singing craft and it could have sounded like crying.   Anyhoo, I found out right before my last semester in college that I couldn't graduate without ONE MORE fine arts credit!  I was graduating in music and piano performance, for hunis sake!  Oh, the IRONY (limp hand moves to forehead and fall to floor)!  The registrar laughed as he told me I needed either an 'introduction to art' or 'introduction to theater' class before I could graduate.  He laughed because I'd been working at the Utah Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City for two straight years by that point as an actor and as a pianist!  More fine arts credits??  Hmmm...the old wheels started a'spinnin'.  I had already been to Army basic training at Fort Leonard Wood, MO and had regaled my family with stories of the people and circumstances.  I had an idea!  DING (or maybe its "bing!"  or usually my ideas are "fzzzll...poof")!   I immediately pitched this idea to my festival colleague, oh and the teacher for 'introduction to theater,' my idea!  "How about," I began with glee, "How about, I never set foot in your class this whole semester!"  He interrupted, "Fabulous IDEA!"  "Wait, you haven't heard my idea yet," I glowered.  "Oh...carry on," he invited. "How about I write a one-man comedy show based on my army training?  I costume it, light it, and advertise it AND perform it!  Then you can grade me on the show?"  And THUS, this show was born.   I hope you enjoy all the diversity of characters and have as much fun listening as I do sharing the stories!